Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
Carnival of Rust
Listening to: Carnival of Rust (all time fav!!)
I woke at 5 as usual and hit the gym til 630. Scale was down another pound which makes 12 total in the past two weeks, I did eat yesterday albeit not much. Just no appetite lately. I pushed harder at the gym and am really feeling the burn..I love the burn after a good workout..Maybe I am bit masochist lol. I came home and showered and now having my tea. Yesterday so many people asked what I wanted for Christmas, at this point I usually break out in "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas"..mostly to keep myself from crying...but the one thing I really want..well.. I don't think Santa will bring me :( So my answer is simple.. Just for them to be happy and get their wishes for Christmas. Doesn't go over well but it's the truth. Inside I am saying..I want him to say he can't imagine not having me in his life. I want him to say despite the rough times..thinks I am worth the fight. I want him to say it won't be Christmas without me but I stay silent. Just be happy is my answer.
I work today, only for a few hours. Won't be too bad despite being soooo slow. I did more reading in bed last night and started my new journal. It's been helpful. I learned a few things about starting a Ds relationship and documented a few things I should have asked for it to have been incorporated in our Ds that may have saved many conflicts from happening. It's..I am..a work in progress.
Well, going to do my hair and makeup and get my day started. Hoping for another day of hair and makeup perfection but...doubt it lol