Cosmos

Cosmos
2018-12-18 06:39:06 (UTC)

Shopgirl

I don't know why I chose this title for this entry................ I survived last couple of months. I finally made it. I'm really happy but sad at the same time. After coming back home I slept for hours then just started binge watching all my shows on Hulu. Now I have nothing to do and no one to talk too. One of those nights where you just brainstorm and tried to find something to do. So I decided to write something. I don't know what should I actually write. should I write about my favorite movie or myself or just the people around me? or trying to gather all my random thoughts. My insomnia kicking in as usual. Just thinking how lonely I am. I don't even have any friend or anyone close to me rather than myself. Are other peoples life this perfect than mine? I see my friends and co-workers around me happy with their family and kids. All they can talk about the whole day how wonderful their life are. Most of the time I'm jealous listening to them. I don't really express. I just put a big smile on my face. I am in my 30s and I'm still single living with my parents. Every day I tried to convince myself being single is alright. I don't have anyone to do all the holiday festivities couple enjoys. I just watch them on the street and get jealous.
I had one big broken relationship. I don't even remember when is the last time I was with someone. Its been so sooo long. But today I'm really happy. I don't want to ruin my happiness and the feelings I'm having. I worked hard last four months and successfully finished the term in school. Some night I literally cried to sleep. I thought I can't do it. I wanted to drop all my classes. But YES finally i made it. It wasn't that bad. I think i feel better now. I will try to sleep now. Tomorrow is a new day. I have to put that smile on and go to work. I dont have anyone in my life but there is this thought of someone always. I'm sure you know the movie :)




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