Canadian Cutie

Life through my spiritual eyes❤️
2018-12-17 18:35:01 (UTC)

Like she knew

This is my 3rd entry today.. I am laying in bed with the light off and I am shivering, can't get warm, head is pounding and I keep fighting the tears that want to spill. My puppy hasn't left my side. He's been extra affectionate. I am not ready for Christmas..It's my favorite time of the year and all I feel like doing is crying. I need to be happy for this one but I'm not.. I wish I could take this past week back.. I wish he had forgiveness and saw it was out of love and hurt I left.. I wish I could go back and express myself better.
Really strange thing happened today. Yesterday I was thinking of a friend I had a year ago.. She is a domme and super nice.. We were really close friends many years ago.. We stopped talking about the same time I became submissive to my former Sir. We both had busy lives and time just slipped by. She was there for me when my first Ds relationship ended. I cried to her and she just listened as a genuine friend. Anyways I was thinking of her yesterday and thought I should reach out to her. I didn't at that moment and this afternoon.. I got a text message saying "hey love, what's going on?" I was floored.. Like she knew I needed that. We text a bit then she told me to give her a call.. So I did.. I had mentioned that it was odd because I was thinking of her yesterday and thought I should reach out.. She said she felt the need to touch base.. I cried to her again and again she just listened. She's a good person. How did she know?.. She's a big believer in putting things out in the universe and in thinking of her yesterday.. I did.. Her and I are big on manifestation. It really helped for the hour we talked. She distracted me a little and we shared a few laughs. She joked about manifestating his forgiveness.. I laughed and said if there's anyone who can defy the power of manifestation and the world.. It's him.. He's stubborn lol. She's pretty cool and I'm thankful she resurfaced.
I still haven't eaten.. I just made a tea.. Third attempt today.. Only a few sips of the last two.. Just can't stomach anything. This is making me physically ill.. hope tomorrow is better.. This pain is unbearable. I miss him :(

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