Late nights and the mind that wanders
At night, your thoughts tend to wander around. Sometimes with good thoughts. Sometimes with bad. All of this is in your mind conjuring ifs, and, and possibilities. Thinking about the what ifs of past or the what ifs of the possible future. Many things will mess you up if your'e not careful. Your ego can fuck you up with negativity. Gotta be aware and gotta be careful.
I've read a few books and watch a lot of you tube videos regarding sustaining sanity after a breakup. I think I'm doing good. Yet, I know I'm one step away from falling off the beaten path. Hard to do and yet I think I'm doing pretty good. Again, I say that working out will save your ass big time. Don't get me wrong, I still drink and eat not the healthiest food sometimes but I got the moderation part pretty good. So I work out hard. Eat right most of the time. But yeah, sometimes, it's just a cheese, crackers, salami, and wine night for dinner because I can :)
One cool thing I learned recently from a youtube vid is that when you break up with someone, you feel like you'll never find anyone like that again. I learned that this is stupid. While you are with someone, there won't be a line of women waiting for you to be available. You don't know that after a breakup, someone likes you. You don't know. You won't know if you'll find someone the next month or the next year. The main concept is that it's stupid of you (me) to feel you'll never find someone again. We people just don't see so we don't believe. It will happen again. It may happen tomorrow. I may happen in a year. Just know that this is life and it has it's cycles. To really understand this, you really got to watch the videos and understand it deeply.
I feel like I have an inner strength now that I never had before. So while a breakup sucks, I can see better than I ever had. I am grateful for this and I will absorb this wisdom. Hopefully I'm smart enough to use this newfound wisdom and apply it in my life. :)
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