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2018-11-26 06:39:24 (UTC)

No reason

Being sad for no reason.. I get these mood swings too much. I hate it. I tend to get sad for no reason.. and if it doesn't get treated, I tend to lead myself to depression and reminding myself of all the problems I carry. I feel so sad, with no reason. It hurts.. It aches. What if I actually do have a reason? I can't tell. I actually don't know. I keep thinking to myself "Will I ever find the reason?". What's the point of holding this kind of feeling when I could me smile and talking about my day to others? Maybe I need a break. A big break. It's 1:43 A.M., with no motivation. I wish I was happy. And if I ever was happy, I can never keep that happiness. It stays for a little, then I go back to reality where all the sadness I kept inside.. carry on my shoulders. I wish I can be happy with my creations I make. Drawings and animations, designs and such. But, I could never have the time to keep them on my time I have. I have too many responsibilities.. I wish I gain a looooong break. If I do, I have a clearer mindset of what to do, but also spend my time being more comfortable than being tense everyday.. ongoing drained energy with forced motivation on a daily basis. I have no reason to be so sad. But.. I wish I was in a better place. Maybe I wouldn't stay so sad.