edd

Scream Above the Sounds
2018-11-24 20:29:13 (UTC)

Fortress of Solitude

'Fortress of Solitude' is a nickname I gave to my bedroom when I was like 15. I've lived in this house since I was about 3 years old. We originally lived about 15 minutes away from here but we moved because we got broken into. My parents didn't want to bring me up (and soon my sister) in a house that had been broken into and I guess they just didn't feel safe anymore. I'm grateful we moved anyway because that area was very rough. I stayed away from there a lot when I was younger.


I've moved house twice as an adult. Originally I moved in with 2 of my best friends and I lived there for about 5 months. I ended up moving out in the end because they both had their partners living with them and I just felt very out of place and I often felt like I was intruding. If I knew people were home and their bedroom door was closed, I wouldn't ever feel like I could just knock and go in and say hi or something, you know? I was still working nights at that point too and one of my friends girlfriends (who I'm not very close with and don't get on with much) used to just play really loud music the next morning when she knew I had come off the back of a night shift. I just couldn't stay there, I was permanently exhausted. The second time was when I moved in with my ex girlfriend, that lasted for almost a year.


I do love this house. I feel that I'll always be here, long after my parents are gone too. I always had this image of my son eventually having my bedroom and playing the same consoles I did as a boy. The SNES, the Nintendo 64, all that kinda stuff. I just think it would be sweet. I don't feel comfortable or get much peace but I know that I do feel safe in this room. I'm still trying to decorate and put things together. I've been meaning to get a double bed and a bracket for my dad's TV that he gave to me and my ex. I probably won't get things sorted until after Christmas. My birthday is in January too so any finishing touches will likely come then. I need to start doing things outside of this room though. I spend way too much time in here.


I don't really get asked to do much outside of video gaming with my friends. Strangely enough, I got invited to an event on Facebook by somebody from work. They are having like a works drink and stuff. I haven't looked at the event properly but the host was one of my close friends at work who I don't really talk to that much anymore. We had a few arguments and we haven't spoken since. Conversation just became really difficult and everything was a battle. She is the host of the event and she didn't invite me. I mean, I'm not totally sure why I'm on the event anyway because I don't work there anymore. I was invited by one of the guys who is on the event. Maybe somebody suggested or mentioned inviting me, I don't know. I doubt any of them are going to message me or ask about me anyway so I probably won't go that. I would just feel awkward. If I get messages or people want me there, then maybe, but probably not.


It's relatively early still, it's only 7:45pm as I write this. I've just finished a pretty big FIFA session with my friend. I don't really have much plans for the rest of the evening. I think I'll probably play some Final Fantasy XIV in a while. I've got a lot of college work to get on with for the Sunday/Monday. I have to write a story about my time in Hong Kong and do a presentation on the Wales National Football team. Hopefully I can find some motivation for that.


Edd


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