Whew! Passed my first hurdle
FB plastered a memory from last year. I was with ex gf and we went to Ritz Carlton in Tahoe. Pics popped up of us and this was the kind of shit I was worried about. Anyway, I was worried about how I'd react and guess what? I'm good. I have been reading and watching a lot of self help stuff and I understood the theory but was worried if my heart was into it too. Anyway, I looked at it and there was nothing that jumped in me. I was actually fine.
Discovering this was soooo relieving. I felt I would be ok but wasn't quite sure if I could walk-the-walk when the time came. Well, fb posted some memories, I looked at them and I'm doing fine. Just the feeling of being fine almost makes me want to weep in joy. This was a big thing for me. This was an unplanned test for me and I feel I passed. I feel I now have the strength to face anything. I worked at it and now I feel I'm going to be fine. Maybe just maybe I'm actually really loving myself again.
It's been a good day diary. I have a friend that ended her 3 yr relationship and I know it's wrong but I observed her somewhat fresh new breakup. I feel way ahead of the game. So at least for tonight, I can hav e a clear mind and have a good night's sleep. I think I really will be ok.