✯Sincerely, Me✯

☯LivingWithMyself☯
2018-11-20 10:39:55 (UTC)

Small Update

Dear Reader,

So it’s 5:21 in the morning, and I haven’t even slept for the night previous yet.

I feel really defeated.. I feel lonely... I feel sad. My sleep schedule is fucked, so I sleep late every day, and get scolded for it.

The house work is slipping through my fingers.. and I don’t know why. Just losing motivation again.

My grandma will be getting up soon, and put Rosie in my bed like she does every morning.

I’m just sad... I feel like all I do when I write is say that I’m sad.

I did my tree. I got the big one. Had to move furniture around to fit it, but I’m really happy with it. If I stare at it too long, I start messing with it, and moving things around. Grandma doesn’t like it, but she hasn’t had a meltdown like before so, that’s good.

The closet I have that’s full of junk and shit she saved? I went through it, and I threw away a lot. Stuff she saved that was mine, but trust me, it was junk. An angel statue, my old mat for nap time in kindergarten, a broken radio thing she got me for Christmas a few years ago.. I tore up so many cardboard boxes, and sorted through the contents. Old toys that were dirty or broken. Lots of dress shoes, and I went through my clothes and threw some out. And after I cleaned it out, and got up give garbage bags full, I repacked the stuff I decided to keep, and now it’s actually a closet space.
There’s still two giant tubs of her stuff that came from her room in it, but it’s a major improvement. She’ll likely be pissed if she looks in it, and notices so much gone, but I promise you there’s not a single thing that’s gone that she could name. Technically the stuff I threw out was mine, so it really doesn’t matter. She won’t miss any of it.

I’m starting to feel sleepy now, so I’ll just wrap it up here.

Good night. Or morning.

Sincerely,
Me




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