Experienced Life
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2018-11-16 08:15:24 (UTC)

Battling your Ego

So I wake up today and it begins. A new day. I wake up and gauge my mental status. I'm ok. Not much on the imaginary stress meter. No bad or good dreams. It is Friday and I haven't seen my friends in awhile now. I guess they got tired of me and my issue. I don't blame them. I sort of like the quiet anyway. I stopped taking ukulele lessons from the Guitar Center. They charged too much and taught me very little. I'll take group lessons at a new place and just go on youtube to learn.

Not much luck on my online dating sites. Not may women are my race I guess. I dunno. I think my attitude about it hasn't been the best so maybe the results are a reflection of it. I'm still reading and learning about building/improving my inner self either from books or youtube. For that, I am grateful. This is one of the good things about going through a breakup. It does open doors like this so that I can be a better person but this is to be a better person for me and not anyone else. I'm learning to like or love myself and to be happy in general. It's still a work in progress because your ego is your biggest enemy. However, I know that now. I also know that no one else buy yourself can make you happy. Finding someone to make you happy will lead to failure. You have to be happy with yourself and only you can take away any anxiety or bad thoughts in your head. I see that now. Lot's of work though. It's not just a realize it and it's all good. It requires work and I at least am aware and will start on the steps to get there.

For now, I'm taking little steps. I've started them. I won't go into detail but I read a lot of posts here on this site and a lot of people I think could be doing the same thing I'm trying to do. Lots of peeps here have very low self esteem caused by their ego. Our ego is our worse critic sometimes and this has to stop. We all hate ourselves sometimes and the is a big battle we must fight to win over. We are not what our Ego leads us to believe. Realize it and go fight the fight.