Experienced Life
2018-11-11 07:11:29 (UTC)

What Ifs in life

I know I'm not supposed to dwell on this much but I went to my friend's housewarming party last night. Husband and wife with a new home. I liked it. I saw a beautiful older home that was renovated with hard work from my friend and co worker that he and his wife bought. It was very nice. I had good vibes in there. They had lots of pictures of them and their now grown up kids.

I watched them interact and I liked it too. They are indeed a happy couple. I couldn't help but wonder what if. I guess the love I have or had for my ex gf is now dwindling away. I did what I supposed to do. Took down the pics and just stored all her stuff in a bag in the closet. If and when she wants it if ever, I will give it back but it's pretty much gone. I unfollowed her on FB. I stopped texting, calling and emailing for awhile now and she the same.

What I did think about though was that I had a shot at what my friends had too. Financially, the ex gf and I would've had a very comfy life together. We would've been able to buy our toys (new truck and boat), saved more into our retirement and saved for some awesome vacations. Yup, we would've saved a lot of money if we had teamed up. Not upset at her or regret this at all because I know a loveless home would've sucked. I just was looking at the financial part of it. I live alone in here and with all the utilities, rent, etc etc, I probably pay about 2200-2400 a month? Give or take a few hundred. I was just thinking how that crap would've been cut in half had we moved in together. That would've saved each of use 1200 a month at least. Sigh... That would've been car payments and future vacations would've been so awesome.

Maybe one day it'll happen but it won't be this day. Sigh.

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