marielmia

Mariel is MIA
2018-10-24 09:09:28 (UTC)

Guns and relationships

Everyone in my neighborhood had a hand gun. It was a lower middle class area of Miami but it wasn't as if the place was major unsafe. I think it was more like in Cuba, guns were illegal and here, anyone could own one. So they did. Now i've already said i don't see eye to eye with father on almost everything, but we def bonded over guns. He was fascinated by them and safe use required a most compulsive and dogmatic approach. At 8 he had me captivated by them and completely understood the rules and obeyed. He taught me to shoot them and break them down. I'd actually look forward to going out to the Glades to shoot targets. It was like the only thig we happily did together. Win- win, in some strange sort of way.

Now Javi also loved guns. Being a f-ing gangster type, that was expected. What was not expected was that at least one weapon was always within reach at all times. We were a threesome, even in bed. He never used the weapon that i knew of, but his need to have one as a constant friend eventually did him in. Several years worth of done in, which is the rule here in Florida. And that is how i finally was free of the toxic creature that was Javier. At he time, i was upset by his arrest, but long after, i realized i should have been relieved. See all i could see was the loss of power and reversion to my non-person self. It was even worse, because i finally realized all the evil Javier stirred in me. This is hard for me. G'night.




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