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2018-10-20 11:16:20 (UTC)

Flashback awakenings

Funny how a movie can make you think back about the past. I was watching Jumanji the remake. I liked that movie batter than the first one. One scene made me reflect back on something. Something about my life and how it pertains to my current issue at hand. At the end, when the kids were back to normal and the two nerds kissed at school, it made me flashback to my early days. Somehow, I seemed to have gone back and my life fast forwarded to so many of my past relationships going back to my teens.

I recall how early on when I was just starting to come out of my social dating shell how it felt to kiss someone when you never did a lot of kissing before. The early romances as a teen and I was in it. That was me that I was recalling and how strong and cool it was growing up with these emotions. It hit me somehow. It hit me that these are all little drop in the buckets. Drop in the buckets of life. The last breakup was just another one of the drops. I feel at least at the moment that a sudden burden is off of me. Instead of going poor me stressing out about my breakup, I for now see it as a path in life that I just need to go through. I know this is possibly not the last time I'll feel this from a woman and I may have to go through this again another day. I sure as hell hope I never do but at the same time, I'm starting to understand and feel this is ok. Normal life shit. I just need to get up off my ass and live life and keep on going. All from that one scene in Jumanji :)

My situation didn't change. I still miss her I guess but with a little better understanding in life. I know this won't be forever as my past has shown. I see that the ex wasn't a goddess and she shouldn't be on a pedestal. That was my unconscious brain trying to mess with me. But that part too I think I an keep in check. So today, I smile a little more :)