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2018-10-16 09:44:34 (UTC)

I'm supposed to not hate and forgive me ex gf

So, some of the videos I'm watching indicate that I do not hate or feel ill feeling towards the ex gf. I'm supposed to realize that whatever the breakup was, it wasn't something that I necessarily did. They weren't on the same page anymore so it's ok. I knew what I wanted from the beginning and my goals did not change. Hers did but that doesn't mean you have to be upset for them changing. They just changed their minds and nothing I did could have changed or should want to change that. So, I sit and think. I guess I could be a better person and do that. Not sure yet though. I may or may not. New info takes awhile to input, absorb and do. I first need to feel that this is the right thing for me to feel and do first. Baby steps.

Oh yeah, I partied too much last weekend I guess. I gained some weight. haha. Nothing major. Just not at 149 lbs anymore. I still fit in my clothes though so picking up the 5 pounds didn't hurt. Must be poop pounds. haha. Still way below my 160 that I should ideally be at. It's still nice to be below your ideal weight. I'm always ever so grateful to be going to the gym. It saves my ass mentally and I guess physically too :)

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