LustingforNightmares

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2018-10-12 10:18:36 (UTC)

raining

"If I sit still, maybe I'll get out of here" by This Town Needs Guns

October 12, 2018 Friday 10:19 AM

It's always raining here, and when it's not raining I am waiting for it to rain—it gets so humid. It started pouring yesterday and I forgot my umbrella so on the way back to my dorm I got soaked. I didn't bothered hurrying; I get like that in the rain. Kind of manic with joy. Something about being drenched. It is still raining now, only I couldn't find my umbrella so I got kind of wet again on the way to the Ratty. It is less fun this time because I know I'll be stuck damp clothes until 5 pm tonight, which is when I get out of work. Hopefully I won't have to go in the freezer too frequently while at I'm work. I am pretty cold.

My mood is low. I went to bed feeling like I had the shit kicked out of me yesterday. I'd had some exhausting interactions (which were probably not actually exhausting, but left me feeling that way anyways). I did no homework and barely left my room except to pee and go to a club meeting. I've been watching youtube videos detailing old ways of dress (for women). And also a lot of gameplay videos. And I've started reading Beastly online—which is not exactly a piece of literature, but I am enjoying it so far. All in all, I am kind of wasting my time.

School is hard. The readings are difficult and sometimes I don't finish them. Russian is hard and I don't practice enough. I haven't talked to anyone besides Maria for days, I am now realizing. I spoke with Karina yesterday but aside from that I think I've been in the library all week except yesterday. Maria and I slaving away over our respective work. People have texted me and I do not answer. Mama this morning sent something that said: Amor where are you? because my parents have sent me several messages by now over the course of the last couple days but I haven't had time to pay them any attention. It's just that time of the semester, I keep murmuring to myself.

My parents are coming to visit next weekend. I think my sister will also be around for a day, which will be nice. I am just so tired and I'm not even tired.


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