Scream Above the Sounds
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2018-10-05 14:42:33 (UTC)

I Wanna Get Lost With You

Title doesn't really hold any relevance. It's just the song I'm listening to right now, which is one of my favourites. I may have linked it in a previous entry but I'll leave the link here again if anybody wants to check it out :-

Stereophonics - I Wanna Get Lost With You https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3cZqWoqweU

I don't know why but I felt REALLY unattractive in college today. I don't consider myself attractive at the best of times but something felt strange today. I really want to make a serious effort to lose weight. I'm not fat or anything, but I know I will be if I don't change something. I mean I could shift a stone or something easily I think. I've never really felt comfortable with my appearance but I just want to feel like I'm working towards something and it would surely make me a little bit more happier. I've been wanting to join a gym for months but I'm a bit scared. I've never even been to a gym before. The only fitness I really get is when I play football, and that's pretty rare these days. I miss playing. Joining a gym would be good for me because I've heard it's good with relieving stress, it would keep me busy and take my mind off of things. I suppose I just need somebody to show me the ropes and get the ball rolling. I would love to be fitter. I really need to try and start eating healthier too. I probably come across as a right slob, haha. I dread to think how many times I've mentioned KFC in a diary entry. When I wrote my list of things to do back in May, joining a gym was on the list. I knew that would be one of the hardest ones to do. That, learning how to drive and getting a tattoo are the only ones I have left to do. I'm quite happy that I've managed to tick off so many. It's time like these I wish I did live in Newcastle with my friend, because he goes to the gym often and he would be able to teach and show me everything. It's easier to have a friend, you can motivate each other, it's good for morale, all that good shit. I would just make an idiot out of myself if I went alone. I don't know, I definitely want to consider it because I felt like shit today, way more shitter than usual. I'm not really much to look at generally, I'm a solid 4/10. I just don't want my weight to become an issue. I don't want to wind up looking like my dad, who is quite big now.

I'm supposed to be going out tonight, I think. So much for distancing myself away from one of my best friends who I'm possibly falling for, sigh. I don't really know what to do. I mean, I'm not going to mention it to her. It would be a waste of everybody's time. No good'll come of it. I'm not even 100% sure if we're going out tonight. I think we were going to go out for a drink or something, nothing too crazy. I'll probably be on the bus home by 10pm. I feel too old for town these days. I look at so many fresh faced 18 year old's and think "There is no way I was that wild when I was their age!" but I knew I was. I got thrown out of our local rock club once for taking my shirt off during Tenacious D's - Tribute when Jack Black says "Nay, we are but men, rock!". Good times. I dunno, it was me who suggested doing something with her but I might call it off and just stay home like a loner. I've got assignments to do and I'd like to get them out of the way so I can watch UFC tomorrow night without any worries. I don't think she will be too disappointed.

It's half term in 3 weeks and my parents have told me that they are going away for a week to celebrate their 25th anniversary. It's odd but I'm glad they are spending time together. I worry about their happiness a lot. It's good that they are making time for one another. I just wish they would do more basic things with each other. They really do take each other for granted. I think I may have mentioned my parents in an entry before. I think it's "The Ice Is Getting Thinner". It's a sad story. On to some good news though, it means I get a free house for a whole week. I'll likely have a house party, that's the usual rule isn't it? I'm also going to watch WWE on November 3rd when they come to town. My buddy from Newcastle will actually be coming down for that too hopefully, if everything goes to plan. I'd like to do something for Halloween but I haven't got any plans. I'm determined to actually dress up as something other than Darth Vader though. I've done that every year for like the past 8 years. I might spice it up and shave my head and be Walter White or something, who knows? Either way it should be an exciting and hopefully, happier month than recent ones.