Margritte

@23
2018-10-02 18:21:43 (UTC)

Dinner Exploded

So last night's events were crazier than the usual.
Long story short, the pyrex thingy mobapoers that I was cooking with exploded into shards of glass while I was cooking on it.

Mistake #1: Thinking that the pyrex thing was oven safe AND STOVE SAFE. I assumed the latter.

I had to call SO and tell him that dinner exploded and we'll prolly have to eat out. We got Panda express and I cried a little bit about it. A shard of glass cut my big toe and so I cleaned up blood, glass and food off of the floor and the rest of the kitchen.

I felt embarrassed and very insecure after this. Housemate is probably thinking that I'm a liability at home and cannot be trusted. I broke a knife already before and man I don't know what else I'm gonna a destroy in the kitchen. I went for a walk and got a donut after dinner. Walked back home and talked to SO about the whole thing.

I'll be honest and say that I'm really starting to genuinely dislike the housemate although I shouldn't. Half the negative things I feel towards him is from some blown up shit that my anxious self told me. Starting and fostering lighthearted relationships with people is not my jam but the difference now is I'm more open to the idea. I hate small talk and I generally don't care for mundane connections but I also don't want to cause any discomfort. I feel comfortable being alone and being ignored but that's not the norm and so whether I'm being mean or not, being stoic around people communicates negative things.

The week has just started so I need to reset. No hate for the housemate. No more kitchen mishaps. Gonna meditate, work on my resume and the other things that I need to worry about . It was a learning experience and so I just need to continue regardless of any residue feelings I or others might have.

As long as nothing blows up (at least), I'm still on track.




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