Scream Above the Sounds
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2018-09-28 13:24:11 (UTC)

Dancing On My Own

It feels weird to finally have that "Friday Feeling" people always talk about. Just getting home and having the weekend to myself and not having to set an alarm feels so great. Fridays for me before consisted of fucking my body clock up, waking up at 5-6pm and then going into a night shift. I'm glad to see the back of working in that place but I do miss the money. I'm gonna start applying for places soon for another weekend job, in the day. I guess I just want to enjoy a bit of freedom before I lose it again. Either way, I'm never going back on nights.

We finished early today. Friday's are great because it's ICT and then it's home time. I was out the door by 12:20pm. I've got the rest of the day now to just chill. I have 4 assignments that I need to do. I could do them now but I haven't really got the motivation. I got home, I put some loungepants on and that's it, I'm spent. I'm listening to "Dancing On My Own" (Tiesto remix) by Calum Scott and nobody can tell me otherwise! The assignments are really easy too. I just want a bit of a break from it all. Waking up in the mornings is such a grim feeling. I get up about 7:40am every day now. Having not done that since I was probably about 16....it's quite challenging.

Having a bit of a social life again has felt good. I mean, I don't really go out of my way to talk to people. I'm not super shy, just reserved I guess. I'm pretty talkative when I do get going though. I wish I had a bit more time with my actual friends though. Just because I'm back in college and leaving the house a bit more hasn't really changed the fact that I'm still feeling very lonely. Despite working towards something and formulating a bit of a plan, everything just feels like a grind and I'm not getting much satisfaction out of anything. I'm still sitting in my bedroom alone for X amount of hours and it just sucks. I do genuinely feel like I'm dancing on my own. I feel if I'm ever invited to something, it's like a pity invitation. I asked about spending time with people a few days ago and just got completely blown off so I've given up. I'm usually not this whiny or needy but I'm just sick of feeling under looked and left behind. It's the shittest feeling ever. I hope things will improve soon but I can't go chasing people anymore. Everything just feels so boring and repetitive right now.


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