Experienced Life
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2018-09-20 18:35:16 (UTC)

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I was about to just delete or unfollow my ex gf on fb. But the relationship coaches online indicated that this may look to appear that I am weak and that I'm not confident enough to deal with it. Shows as a lack of power. Dang!! So complicating nowadays. I had already clicked on unfollow a few days ago to deal with it.

So I went back in and tried to man up. I am following her again. However, I did see her posts. It involves partying with her female friends drinking. I actually liked it. If your life is so much better now, then going out drinking every time is not proof of it. That makes the other person confirm that the breakup was actually a good idea (per relationship coaches online). You know what? I think it's true. It does make my ex gf less attractive and it does make me not regret splitting up with her so much anymore. Funny those coaches were right. Also, I have to say that she gained some weight. That means she hasn't been working out and just going on a drinking binge. Mind you she drinks a lot already. When I was with her, a kiss to greet her almost always tasted like alcohol. Almost always.

I used to go to her place a couple times a week and I drank also so I'm no angel but when I bring a full bottle of vodka to her place on a Tuesday and it's almost gone on a Thursday, that's just too much. So I assume she either drinks as much or even more now. This is my proof that I indeed may be able to do better. This is maybe my sign into my unconscious to say it was good we split up. Especially since I last saw her only less than a month ago and her face looks fatter. Anyway, sounds like sour grapes I know but no matter the reason why I'm posting this, it is true.

Also, since I blocked my ex wife from texting or calling me, I have found a little bit of peace now and I am able to pull out a smile or two during the day. Just enjoying the good I have in life you know? Great job, great friends, financial stability, pretty good health, etc. I too take things for granted but not now. Now I see some of the positives I have in life and I can smile at times. I know this is still a battle for me and I can't say I'm in my happy place but I'm hopeful :)

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