All that is
Ok it's nearly 8pm. and i haven't heard back from him. well, i say 'back', as if i was the last one that reached out. he called me and i accidentally missed it. then i simply decided not to call him back. i thought if he actually wanted to see me tonight and do something with me, he'd call me. i wouldn't have to call him and put the idea in his head or even push. but i jhave to stay strong cos i keep getting this pang of panic and this voice telling me to call him, cos i miss him. but what if i do call him then what? then what? it'll be back to that again. me feeling at a disadvantage, and him acting aloof. if i do nothing though i'm always panicking that i'm only making the situation worse. that clear lines of communication are always the best way forward in any situation. cos the truth is, for this kind of behaviour to be effective you have to give very little shit. and unfortunately i'm not at that point where i give no shits about him. I'm invested. so that makes this diffucult because i actually WANT to see him.