Wr1tt3n0ne

Bunches and bunches
2018-09-06 16:04:18 (UTC)

Shadowy Twilight

The whole of my life now seems to be in the space that is neither fully alight nor recessed exclusively in the shadows. The semi-dark of my mind and my art both torments me and sets me free. It is a strange space to see freedom in such duality. Moreover, my physicality has now taken on a grey tone. I am emotionally drained with dieting, but making steady progress nonetheless. I am sleeping far less than I wish to and find it muddies my thoughts when the hour grows so late as to be early. Even my eyesight seems to dwell in the inbetween. I currently has my pupils daily dilated in order to stop my worsening eyesight. It seems to be working, however, I am quite light adverse now and sometimes it makes focusing my eyes sharply, difficult. In short, I find myself in process.

Long ago I gave up my hatred of change and instead began to embrace it with the wild abandon most people reserve for one night stands. My life has scarcely been a settled matter since. I feel I am always in motion, moving here and there,...
"...sideways, and slantways, and longways, and backways...

Charlie Bucket: And frontways?

Willy Wonka: ...and squareways, and front ways, and any other ways that you can think of.

I love that about me. I was never designed for that thing people term stability. I can hold down a job, complete an education, get married and stay that way for fifteen years and more yet, have children both young and grown, buy homes and cars and maintain my credit rating, well sort of on that last one. Take note of my wry grin. But my mind, well she doesn't understand still at all. She soars, spins, and dives down to dark places. If there is a bit of life to lick and try, she's already got a spoon. Art, either internal or external is what drives her, nourishes her and what she journeys so far afield for.

This is her place and mine. May our way remain both obscured and almost lit, but may our sun never chase our shadows completely away and our darkness never swallow us whole. Tip of the hat to a crazy thing called life.




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