2018-09-04 13:25:26 (UTC)

im: anxiety

"Crack Baby" by Mitski

Down empty streets sniffing glue me and you
Blank open eyes watch the moonflower bloom
It's been a long hard twenty-year summer vacation
All these twenty years trying to fill the void

Crack baby you don't know what you want
But you know that you had it once
And you know that you want it back
Crack baby you don't know what you want
But you know that you're needing it
And you know that you need it bad
With wild horses running through your hollow bones

September 4, 2018 Tuesday 1:27 PM

I wish, that when I got nervous, it did not spill. Because I am freaking Out about my current schedule (which is messy and terrifying and will render me nonfunctional in T-minus 17 hrs) and it is sloshing out into other areas and convincing me that I will never graduate and will die a poor talentless writer hahahahahhaa. I am dying. Why have I not learned to ComPartMentAlize. My knees are jagglin' jigglin' up and down a million miles per hour ugh kill me now.

I hate not having a set schedule. I HATE shopping period. I want to take these classes but I'm not sure if they have enough room. That's fucked up. If u let me in I promise I'll do my beeest! Which is pretty good! My lowest letter grade is a B!!!! Because I took my shitty classes S/NC (I would've had a fuckin' D in Calc hahahahhaa). Pls. Let me in. Let. Me. In.

Ok I am too freaked out to write about how much I hate Thayer street (loud, crowded, constantly full of construction, smells like hot trash—basically a wafer-thin slice of NYC minus the sun-blocking buildings and perpetually tarp-covered scaffolding hahaha). Oh, look, there's the gist. Thayer sucks! I'm out.