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2018-09-03 18:15:04 (UTC)

We are done

Well, looks like we are done. I am single again. I met with my girlfriend after this long break and had Thai food. I've been taking lessons and knew what to do no matter the outcome. She said she didn't want to be together anymore. So I said "Whew!. That's sort of a relief. I can deal with that. I too was unhappy". This was one of the things the coaches I'm learning from was supposed to kind of say. May the ex think "wait! what did I do wrong?". I was dressed up too. Did some extra things that again the coaches told me to do. Dress up, look good. Add a little jewelry here and there. I added a nice heart pendant to my one and only jewelry that I had which was a gold chain. Also, I put on a black studded earring on my left ear. I had new shoes, dress shirt, and new pants to match. I used a cologne I didn't use often. It's a Lacosta perfume. I was fit as ever and my new clothes hugged me a little so I looked freaking good.

When she drove in, she had her old shirt and shorts. Scruffy as a dog. Same old pendant. No change whatsoever to how she dressed. She looked like shit. Well, no. Bad word. She looked regular. I guess that's good since she said she wanted to do her own thing now. She needs to get new clothes.

Well, the big question is.... how do I feel? Am I wallowing in pain and misery right now? Well, no. Am I crying? Again no. Did I fuck up and beg for my ex to come back to me? Again no. I did tell her that she is missing out on the new me and she will regret it. I said this in a joking way but in a way, I did put in that message. haha. And last but not least, I made sure that she saw me walk and drive away. I know this is what the counselors said to do and I did it to the T.

Do I still want her? I dunno. I won't lie. A part of me does. I did do all the right moves to at least make it a possibility but I won't hold my breath. I do know that life is too short. I won't waste it. That's the initial report for now.

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