Scream Above the Sounds
Dealing With Heartbreak
I don't have the answer on how you deal with heartbreak. People do a variety of different things. Some people will be quite impulsive whilst others will just wallow in self pity. It's the latter for me, every time. The most common thing people do is rebound. I've never done it personally and I can't imagine it must feel good. You might have some fun for X amount of time but what do you get at the end of it? You still feel empty, sad and alone. It can't even be called a quick fix. It's just a dumb idea.
The reason I make this entry is because I had a phone call this morning from a friend, about 3am. She was really drunk. She was in pieces over her ex boyfriend. I find it quite hard to comfort people as it is, it's even harder to do over the phone. I've known her a really long time and she's always been a good friend. We could have had a thing together in 2009 but it just wasn't to be. I've never seen or heard her cry before. It was horrible. I felt really powerless. She helped me a lot when I broke up with my ex girlfriend so I was really trying my best to calm her down and make her feel okay. She thanked me for everything I said and I told her to get a good nights sleep. I'm meeting up with her on Tuesday. She knows she shouldn't be crying because none of it was her fault. It wasn't even a very long thing. It was a few months. She just fell for him hard.
I think the only thing you can do is, be human. Cry. Endure. It's nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. There is nothing sad or pathetic about crying and feeling your feelings. I'm not much of a crier but when my relationship ended, it was relentless. People will often give you the usual spiel about time being a good healer and you will eventually feel better, and you will. You just have to endure. It took me over 5 months and I'm still not completely okay. It helps if you have a good circle of friends who can keep your mind occupied and your days busy. I didn't really have that and I stupidly isolated myself. I then decided that I had to get my shit together. Life often becomes a routine and a pattern and it often passes you by. I enrolled back in education and took a holiday. I think I can look back at this point and say, whilst I know I fucked up a lot of things....I can at least look back at some parts of my life and appreciate how good I had it, and that somebody really gave their all for me and loved me for who I was, even if they don't now. They did. That means the world to me. I don't think I'll ever have that again but at least I can say it's an emotion and feeling I've felt, and there is nothing like it. Absolutely nothing. There is no life without love, none worth having anyway.
The last thing you have to do at the end of a relationship is try and take positives from it. The world is just crashing down around you and you don't even want to be saved. You just want the world to swallow you up and that be the end of it. It's the worst feeling in the world but you will survive and it will make you a stronger person. If I survived, you will.
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