Scream Above the Sounds
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2018-08-27 03:59:55 (UTC)

Reality Check

The days are getting ever so closer now. It won't be long until I'm back studying as a "mature student." I've talked about this for a long time and I am proud of myself for actually having the courage, guts and determination to go out there and set things right. I just don't want to be a waster anymore. I mean, not many of my friends have gone onto great jobs. Most people are in a similar position to me but I guess are in too deep to really do anything about it. I have a friend who has worked at Tesco for well over 10 years. He hasn't amounted to anything more than what he was when he first started but, he has grown. I mean, he's married, he's living with his wife etc. I mean, I was living with my partner too but I wasn't really in a good position. When I think back, it wasn't the wisest of ideas. We moved in together because we both worked nights and it was the only way we could really see and spend time with one another. I didn't really make enough money though. Any money that did come into my account was pretty much eradicated instantly on bills, food, council tax etc. Adulting sucks, huh?

I'm fortunate enough to be in the position I am now where I can continue to work on the weekends, whilst living with my parents so rent isn't too demanding, and also finally figure out what it is I want to do and where I'm going. My friend really wanted to do the Adult Foundation course with me but he just hasn't got the time to do it. I feel very lucky that I'm in a good enough position to have one last crack and really set things straight. It won't be too demanding straight away. I mean I'm only resitting my GCSE's to begin with. That should be a breeze. It's still going to be a reality check and a shock to the system though. I'm used to having my weekdays free, not that this is a demanding workload by any stretch. It's only about 3-4 hours a day I think.

I am pretty excited for it. I know it's not going to be easy though and hopefully I stay motivated and determined and get through this. I know a lot of people would be proud of me and I kinda owe it to myself. All these years I've taken the piss and rode my luck. I'm out of luck now. It's time to grow up and get my shit together. I won't likely start studying or pursuing the things I actually want to do until I'm 29 or maybe even 30 but...some plan is better than no plan.


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