edd

Scream Above the Sounds
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2018-08-23 05:42:52 (UTC)

Another Sleepless Night

It's way too hot to sleep tonight. That, and my body clock is completely off the chain. I'm currently sleeping at like 11am, it's ridiculous. I can't remember the last time it was this bad.


I'm currently sat here in my underwear, a fan on full blast and my bedroom window wide open. It's so warm in here. It's been a really long night and I don't see me sleeping anytime soon. I've just been hanging out with a friend tonight mainly. I was thinking about going to visit him next week, he lives in Newcastle. I have to work next Monday sadly. Staff on the weekend contract where I work are contracted to work Bank Holidays. Maybe I'll go up from Tuesday-Thursday or something, I don't know. I really enjoyed being away last time and he's one of my best friends so it would be nice to actually be in his company, rather than both of us on the computer, playing the same video games with our headsets on. The banter is always great and we're incredibly close but it isn't the same as physically being with somebody. It's the best I've got though. I spent most of tonight playing Football Manager and FIFA with him. We're both pretty big on football.


Now I'm currently just doing some stuff on World of Warcraft until things reset at about 8am. I haven't really got much motivation so I figured I would try and find something to write. I need to write an article on wrestling soon. It's been a while. I guess I've got some sort of writers block, I don't know. I haven't really been enjoying what wrestling is offering at the minute. It's very bland and the booking has been poor. I don't really want to write about anything. I'll have to dig deep and think of something, otherwise they are going to be on my ass.


On another note, a girl asked me out today. I said I thought she was a very nice girl and I was flattered, it's just not really something I'm looking for right now. I didn't want to give her the whole "I'm working on myself right now" spiel. Which is completely true of course, I just feel it's a bit of a meh answer. She knows me quite well and knew that I would be studying soon. She probably isn't aware about how much time I put into video games and I guess I'd rather save both of us the embarrassment. I think saying that I want to prioritise playing and progressing through an MMORPG than building a new relationship is a pretty embarrassing statement. but, we enjoy what we enjoy and nobody should be forced or try to start a relationship for the sake of doing so. If it felt right, I'd have known. I was flattered all the same though, she's a lovely girl. I don't think it's any harm done anyway. I guess I've always known her to be a bit of a dater. I was shocked more than anything.

13 days until I start my first day at college. It's coming around so quickly. I was talking to a few friends about it earlier and they said they were proud at me for going back at the age of 27. I'm glad I'm doing it. I'm very pessimistic, you've probably gathered that if you actively read these entries. My mind frame is, stick to your plan and go out and achieve what you want to achieve. Just because I do that though, doesn't necessarily mean I'll land the job I'm hoping for. I've seen plenty of people complete courses and even Master's and still cant find their line of work. It's not going to be easy, I do understand that. It's the thought of just finishing something though. Actually getting to the top of the mountain and saying, "I've done it!". I'm older, I'm wiser, I'm smarter. I know what needs to be done. I've just gotta kick on and do it. I will.


Edd


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