More inner deep thinking and girlfriend thing
So, last night, my friends wanted to come by and play darts at my place. I said I wasn't going to be home and needed some time to myself. I am still with my girlfriend I think but it'll be different. We haven't gone out since our timeout so she and I will be different people now. She says timeout didn't sound good. More like "checking in with herself" and for me "checking in with myself". Symantics but yeah. We didn't waste time fiddling with our thumbs during this time.
After our talk, we still texted a bit. She texted this. "Whatever happens, friends first ok?".
I replied with "What does that mean? Oh, no sex? Yeah, I had no intentions of this on our first date back if that's what you mean".
She replied with " I wasn't talking about sex, I meant a mutual respect of each other as adults., regardless of this new beginning. With or without sex".
So as far as mutual respect, I'm good with that. I agree 100%. No sex for awhile (if that's what she meant) is also ok since we went through some heavy stuff recently . However, if I have to wait a long time to make love again, then I don't know. Seems silly I think. I mean yeah, we start all over again but we've been together almost a year and we've had many nights of making love.
As far as our love making, it was pretty fantastic. We both are pretty much in shape and although I haven't posted our love making, we are very good at it. My posts would be pretty hot if I posted about them. But I won't. Don't feel right at the moment.. And if we can't make it and split up, it'll probably not be healthy for me to re-read the love making we've experienced.
For now, I'll be patient. I learned not to make any knee jerk reaction statements. I know not to make big decision when I'm angry, sad, anxious, or even happy. I'm learning. So I'll try my best to make decisions when I'm calm, cool, and as relaxed as possible. In neutral I guess :)
Girlfriend and her kiddo took off to see her out of State relatives today. I start my Reno trip tomorrow. Both of us will be back mid next week sometime. I did speak to her the other day and noted that we will end up not seeing each other for a month. So although we have communication via phone and text, we still have somewhat of a physical timeout till Labor day. Which is ok, I'm still learning more about myself.
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