Scream Above the Sounds
I was looking through some old stuff on my computer and I found my best man's speech from my best friends wedding 2 years ago. I honestly thought I had lost it. That was such a great day. It was just such a surreal moment. I never ever expected my best friend to get married. It was so sudden, it was so left field, but it was so right. I was over the moon for him, and her. I have a very good friendship with her too. It's a bit cocky and arrogant to say but, I knew I would be the best man. I think maybe he could have chosen somebody else but nobody else would have been suitable enough to deliver a best man's speech. I'm not very optimistic or positive about myself but I know how to make people laugh and consider myself somewhat charming/charismatic when I want to be, which isn't often, haha. Regardless, I was extremely honoured and I think it's genuinely the proudest day of my life. I could never do it again though. It was nerve-wracking. I couldn't imagine how my best mate felt.
Putting this speech together was one of the most difficult things I have ever been tasked with. This is it :-
Hello, ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, friends and family...and Pete!
There comes a time in everyones life when they meet their one true love, their soulmate. The person thats going to know and love them for the rest of their life. That moment came for Adam about 13 years ago when he met me. After Adam asked me to be best man, I told him I was a little bit nervous with the speech and I would be mortified if nobody laughed. He reassured me that he would "promise" to laugh. I must admit I've felt slightly on trial today because Adam's told me if I did a good job here today then I can be the best man at his next wedding as well!
For those who don't know me, my name is Edd. I'm one of Adam's best friends. To be asked by Ad to be his best man was a great honour for me, it really touched me.but its also very honourable of him, because he is finally admitting to each and every one of you, that I truly am the best. As part of my research I discovered that, according to tradition I'm supposed to sing the grooms praises and tell you all about his many good points. I'm very sorry to tell you this, I can't sing and I won't lie. I was slightly bothered with the title of being the best man, if I'm the best man then why is Cherise marrying Adam? I'm happy to say I'm a pretty good man but today, Adam truly is the best man.
Back in May, Ad phoned me up and said "What do you think about marriage Edd?" I said "I'm flattered but what happened between us is in the past". I first met Adam back in high school when we were about 12 years old and my first impression...he's a bully. He scared the hell out of me. I thought he was going to beat me up, steal my money, stick my head down the toilet. He used to walk around with what everybody described as a "camper bag". You could have probably fit him inside it at the time, it was huge. He had long hair covering his angry face. A KoRn or a slipknot hoodie (probably depending on how angry he was that day) He did not look like somebody I wanted to get involved with.
I was petrified when he got moved into my form group. We soon realised we had a lot in common, mainly inline skating, music and video games. Shoutout Warcraft III. We ducked out of almost every single P.E lesson imaginable and became good friends, Ray has been calling me "Son" ever since. We've laughed together, we've cried together, lived together, it was probably after the 5th-6th session of watching Kangaroo Jack, Shanghai Knights, Carry on Doctor and Linkin Park, live in Texas. I knew I had a friend for life.
I wish I could grab this once in a lifetime opportunity to reveal to you all of Adam's past misdemeanours, unfortunately I have played a part in most of these events and I don't want to incriminate myself.
I would also like to say how beautiful....most of you look here today, I'm glad to see some of you have actually made an effort, but speaking of beautiful, Cherise is looking gorgeous isn't she? you look gorgeous everyday, Cherise, but you are stunning today..and erm.. Ad you look...good
I first met Cherise when I was about 15 I think. We both had interests in drama in school and the same sort of music, we quickly became friends. We also both had an interest in the film Jumanji which is pretty much the foundation on where our friendship was built, having watched the film at least 3 times together. We kept in touch after we finished school and used to go out to town with a group of friends regularly (Shoutout, Metros). It seemed like it was destiny for Adam and Cherise to be together. They were always joint at the hip and it was clear to see, they made each other happy.
Now, I wanted to share with Adam 5 bits of wisdom that I found on the internet :-
Number 1) Never go to bed on an argument.....always stay up and argue.
Number 2) The best way to remember your anniversary..is to forget it once.
Number 3) Always remember these three little words :- "You're right, dear"
Number 4) In times of trouble remember these helpful words from Oscar Wilde :- "Women are meant to be loved, not understood"
Finally, number 5.
Number 5) All you couples here today, please turn and face each other and stare deeply into each others eyes. Now, statistically you are staring at the person who is most likely to murder you.
It's a blessing to spend time with one of the most devoted and beautiful couples that I've ever seen and I hope I can find someone who fulfils me in my life the way I see the two of you fulfil each other. Let me say how lucky you are, Ad. You've gained a wife who is beautiful, smart, funny, warm, loving and caring. She deserves a good husband.... so thank God you married her before she found one! And Cherise, let me tell you how lucky you are, that you've gained... a gorgeous dress and some lovely flowers.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank everybody who has come here to share Adam and Cherise's special day. I actually have a message to read, from people who couldn't be here but wanted to pass on their best wishes.
"To Adam, We're sorry we couldn't make your big day. We felt too emotional losing a special guy such as yourself. We hope to see you again soon, from all the girls at The Phantasy Lounge"
I would like to thank Steve and Paula, for raising a beautiful daughter and a fantastic woman, and Jan and Ray for uh..well, doing the best you could with this one (Directed at Adam)
I would like to thank you so much for the proud honor of being your best man today. On behalf of the entire wedding party. I would like to thank you both for sharing this wonderful occasion with us
I love you guys, I wish you nothing but the very best for the future. May all your dreams come true.
If you would all join me in raising a glass, to the happy couple. Adam & Cherise.
Reading it back does make me laugh. I can still picture people's reactions as I read certain things. It went down a storm in fairness. I was extremely nervous but I was treated like a king when it was over. I had so many people shake my hand and tell me what a great job I had done and how well it was written. It was awkward because the majority of the people there were my friends wife's side of the family so I had to try and be pretty careful or extremely convincing with the comedy. I'm glad it went down as well as it did. Never again though!