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So, I do see something. My gf or ex gf may have been right about something. I may have been smothering her. I realized that I had neglected other things while I was with her. My friends, my hobbies, work, and other stuff that I like to do was pretty much stifled for a bit. I have to admit that. Wrong or right? I don't know. It was because of my infatuation love for the gf. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with her. I'm not sure if it's because I haven't had a relationship since my divorce or what. Not sure if it's because my personality is balls-to-the-walls all out type attitude. Regardless, I did smother her. I don't think I understood that till a little while ago. I see it now.
So, again I stand corrected. I made a mistake. Now that I realize this, I better man-up and take care of business. gf or ex gf has to be knocked off of that pedestal. Irrelevant of if she and I are still in the future, I need me back so that I can be happier again. I need to be me again.
So far, I haven't tried to contact gf since I last emailed her. Confession on that email. It was a Google doc. I sent her a link and then removed it in the morning. I'm pretty sure she read it but now I'm thinking there is a small chance she didn't. Still, no matter. I need to find myself and get my swag back. More to come. I have to get ready for work.
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