✯Sincerely, Me✯
☯LivingWithMyself☯
You Fucked Me Up
Dear Reader,
Haven’t slept yet..
Had an argument with Chaz..
He doesn’t understand me... he doesn’t want me because of it.
Thinking about him, and thinking about the last two people I talked to for awhile..
I honestly just feel so stupid.
Like Trevor, if you’re reading this, fuck you. I don’t want to write about you. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to talk to you, but I’m so god damn lonely I check kik every day to see if you messaged me, and you treated me like shit.
I don’t want to write about it but there’s so much in my head.. like you tried so hard to convince me it was safe for me to open up to you, and you wanted to be with me.. and you wanted me to fucking move to Canada..
And you said I was worth knowing, and you said you loved me even though you knew me for not even a week..
And the. I opened up to you.. and I honestly shouldn’t have even started doing that in the first place. When my grandparents do shit to me, I immediately have to get it out.. I have to put it somwhere other than my head.. and I thought I could talk to you, and its fucked me up so bad that you don’t even know what I’ve gone through, and you tell me my pain is nothing.. and that I let them treat me like this?
Like... I wouldn’t ever say that to someone, especially someone I was involved with emotionally.
And I know you don’t even give a shit, and I don’t matter, my feelings don’t matter, and you probably think you didn’t do anything wrong, but you did. You fucked me up. You made think you cared about me, and how I felt, and made me think you’d never hurt me, and you fucking did. I showed you my body, I opened up to you.. and then you belittled me when I was trying to vent to you.. you stepped on my feelings, and dismissed me.
Fuck you.
Sincerely,
Me
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