Vanilla

Jealousy

I'm jealous of the way he treats them...her. I'm jealous she is loved. I'm jealous he would do anything for her. I'm jealous that she is able to manipulate him.

But I do also love her. This is so hard because she is a constant reminder of me. And it is so hard squashing all my feelings to make sure that she feels none of my negativity, my jealousy or sadness. That all she ever feels is my fairness.

I feel jealous that I'm not priority ...I am and I'm also not jealous. I don't understand what exactly it is
Is this to do with my mum and dad? is this...Jealousy
....or hatred that I see what I did to her...to mother.

m treats Mateo the way i treated my mother. Pathetic, weak and guilt parenting because actually I became powerful and manipulative. I controlled her.