✯Sincerely, Me✯
☯LivingWithMyself☯
Things I Hate Talking About To New People
Dear Reader,
I was thinking earlier this morning. I’ve been using an app called Whisper, and I’ve been meeting some people on this website recently..
Whisper is an app you use to say anything publicly, and it’s anonymous.
And some of the people I’ve been meeting, are from sexual whispers.
So in order to determine compatibility with people you meet, you have to talk about yourselves.
And I’ve kinda noticed how much I hate.. talking about certain things.
I hate admitting I’m poly, but in a very confusing way. This kinda drives people away. Most people don’t understand or accept it.
I hate admitting I’m androgynous, because a lot of the straight men I meet are put off by it, or don’t understand it. And are looking for someone feminine.
I hate admitting that I’m fat. This turns people away big time.
I hate admitting that I’m Demisexual/Pansexual. The demisexual part really puts people off. Mainly because they want nudes, and a sub who’s immediately comfortable doing this.
I’m not comfortable showing my body, because I’m not comfortable with my body in general, and I’m also not comfortable showing my body unless there’s at least a foundation in place with another person. And a lot of people aren’t willing to put in the time to get to that point with me.
And I’ve been told that a lot of people won’t stick around.
And I get that. I understand that not everyone will understand. I don’t even understand it. I’m still learning about myself.. I’m still trying to put so much into words. And everyone’s entitled to their own needs, and wants.. and I’m just a mess of things all stirred into one pot.
I hate talking about this stuff, but I know it’s important to address it in the beginning. So I do it, even though it’s exhausting. It’s frustrating..
And I do want to be open about all of it.. I’m just afraid of rejection. Afraid of running into hateful ignorant people.
It makes me feel so exposed, and vulnerable.. and makes me dislike myself even more than I already do.
I’m trying my best to be better.
It’s just not easy.
Sincerely,
Me
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