Experienced Life
2018-07-23 13:12:20 (UTC)

Stress Diet Plan

So, I forgot but I do notice that you lose weight when you are breaking up or shit like that. haha. So, I gotta say that is one good thing about maybe breaking up a relationship. Thank goodness you don't get fat when you break up. Whew. I've been eating right since I joined this crossfit gym for 11 months and have stabilized my weight to 160 lbs now. I eat right and workout 4-5 times a week on average. However, I haven't been able to get my fat % down. I look ok. Got some definitions on my belly but still no washboard abs. I've been at this weight for around 4 months now. So I'll see how it is again after 3-4 more months.

This breakup should be done and gone by then and I should be back to normal mentally by then too ( I hope so anyway) or at least stabilized enough to be able to deal with it without hurting like I am today. And yes, I've sort of assumed it will end. I already have prepped a spreadsheet of what I have at GF's house and Mine so that we can return our things back to each other. I also already have a friend that will drop off and pick up the things so I don't have to deal with it.

I will miss her but looking back, I think she will be missing out too. So I have accepted defeat on this. I just need the date to pass and let time heal as it always has. Then getting my self confidence back slowly ( It does break you a bit even though you convince yourself otherwise) and hopefully I can be my fun happy self again. I haven't decided yet if I'll unfriend her. I may or may not yet. I'm sure we can still be civil but a part of me also tells me fuck-it! "Don't want me? Don't get in my space then" type attitude. That may be an asshole way do deal with it but some peeps are even worse than that.

I did send gf a text today. Told her what I felt and what I want. I just wanted to make it clear that whatever we decide, all stones have been turned you know? The decision will be final and I want to make sure there aren't any regrets. That's all I wanted but she did reply asking to respect her wishes of giving her space. ugh... So be it. Can't even communicate too now?

I guess I just need to do a countdown. so.. 9 more days to go.