ish

ish
2018-07-17 00:59:06 (UTC)

k...deep ..breath........................

k...deep breath.......................... got a hello for an old friend....was nice to catch up...played a few games.....looked at the land....maybe is more than i need..................but damn i really love it......think im keeping it..imaybe ciel can rent out a platform or i ll rent like i used to....ugg hate renting.......is so much easier in sl hough than in rl...............

seems so empty............ceil came over with a new friend...he must be a professor or something had some really interesting insites on history and antiquities......i bet hes some professer somewhere would be just up ciels ally.......

frick........... i guess is like this for me.....................i am married in rl....the best relationship ever...one of my closest family i will ever have.....our relationship is built on trust.....he knows i have needs beyond his capibilites....the freedom of that is amazing.......

and i look at this last experience and wonderfully enlightining of who i am completely...what i will allow in my world and what i wont....i cant give that up...is bigger than i am.....i cannot and do not place blame on how things are....is excepted that the needs of others are certainly not within the same needs set...................my heart love and passion is Axels......even when it cant be total.........is still what it is....and i wont explain the magic away..or my passion and love for him............and sometimes love just cant be that all encomposed entity...the flame tooo hot it melts the core............the journey we attempted wasnt one faint of heart certainly..........and i know i will never find one that i feel closer to in ................with all that i am......the stress that i no longer carry is beyond remarkable...so i would have to conclude that my Ax carries more than his share of stress.....i feel this burden lifted when released.......the empath thing is so hard in all this......i have to but walls up or i feel everything.....maybe that is why i cant dare step closer...........i will pray the stress releases him....he is so beautiful to me............will send tons of good energy..possitive light for him.......my heart always warms on thoughts of him.............will be a long while before i do this again......no more collars of devotion for this girl............... i get the limits to my submission at least in all this.....maybe domme is all i can do here.............




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