✯Sincerely, Me✯
☯LivingWithMyself☯
Why I Hate Babysitting
Dear Reader,
I had to babysit yesterday. My cousin texted me at 2 in the morning to ask if I’d keep the baby. So that meant I only could get maybe 5 hours of sleep.
So it was really more like 4 hours and a half.
We kept the baby from 6:45 in the morning to pretty much 6 in the evening.
That’s 10 hours. The most she usually pays me for a day of babysitting is $10. Sometimes $15.
So, it’s almost 2 o’clock. And I’m holding her in the kitchen, and grandma walks by me and says “WE aren’t going to accept money for today.”
I couldn’t let this go. I don’t have a job, because I spend my time taking care of everyone else in this family, and this house.. but that will be changing soon because I’m going to start looking, now that grandmas leg seems to be better.
But I buy almost everything I need or want with what little money I get here and there. My brother pays me $50 to do his part cleaning this house.
I buy my own shoes, my own clothes. I save as much as I can.. and yes like a human being, I do spend money on things I don’t necessarily need, but want.
And the WE part she mentioned? My cousin doesn’t pay her, BECAUSE she said she didn’t have to. So she pays me because it is so much work, and time keeping this kid happy and occupied all day long. 10 hours a day.. I couldn’t imagine even having my own kids.
So this pissed me off. She got all bent out of shape, and started yelling at me after I told her no, I was going to take payment. She told me my brother pays me money I don’t deserve because she helps clean the house. Reminding me for the thousandth time how little she appreciates me. And she even fucking said that SHE does all the work babysitting.
And she doesn’t.
She tried her ways of controlling me, yelling, and just saying that I’m going to do what she said.
In case you don’t know, I’m 21 years old. And she still treats me like she can order me around and control even the smallest details of my life as if I am stop a child.
So I told her plain as I could tell her, refusing to be broken this time, that I wasn’t going to do this for nothing.
I can’t wrap my head around a grown woman, trying to force another adult to refuse to take money for work she did.
But you’d just have to get to know her to understand she does shot like this a lot.
So she stopped talking to me, which was fine.
And then gave me a death look when I took the money from my cousin.
She hasn’t said anything else about it. She might bring it up, but I don’t care. I’m not doing this for free, and I’m not going to walk their dogs for free next week either when they go on vacation.
More on house bullshit.
She is right about me slacking off on the house. But what I do everyday is worth the money I get paid every month.. If I took over cleaning the entire house, and no help, it’s not enough.. it’s too much on me. (And she only helps here recently now that her leg is better.. and it’s not even as much as what I do. And she’s a hoarder so.) There are five people in this house. My two brothers and grandparents and me.
And why I have been slacking.. is because I have just become tired. Increasingly tired, and I’ve been so low.. waking up angry, and laying awake at night sad. They make my days so full of aggravation, I have to recharge in my room to just to stay sane.. sometimes each day I’ll just go to the bathroom when I don’t have to go, just to get away from them.
And even if I did clean every inch of this house like she says she expects me to do, it would still not be enough. She’d still have a problem with it. She’d still have something to say, because she doesn’t appreciate me, and she’ll never be satisfied.
I think the reason I hate babysitting so much is because of her. It was going so well yesterday.. the baby was in a good mood, and I was in a good mood.. and she ruined my. She always ruins babysitting. The money I get for it, makes it up somewhat at least, and she tried forcing me to give that up too.
I stumbled into the kitchen because my flip flops were coming off my feet and my legs were stiff from a long drive going to pick up my brother.
My older brother said I shook the kitchen when I walked, and so to get back at me for today, she told me that maybe he’s trying to tell me I need to go on a diet, because I’ll end up dead like my cousin who became obese, or end up 600 pounds like the people on the show they love to watch and compare me to, and then die.
One day I’m going to leave and never look back.
Sincerely,
Me
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