Scream Above the Sounds
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2018-07-11 03:13:50 (UTC)

A Lack of Color

I name this entry after one of my favourite Death Cab for Cutie songs. I would spell it as "Colour" otherwise, being from the UK. I'll leave a link for the song at the bottom of the entry. I spoke to somebody from Canada the other day and they mentioned that Canadian's spell it "Colour" too. The name of the entry doesn't really reflect anything in particular. Maybe subliminally. Maybe there is a lack of colour in my life.

It seems a lot people enjoyed my last entry in regards to talent because I woke up to five messages which was pretty nice to see. I fell asleep about 1:30pm yesterday and woke up about an hour ago, which was 2am. My sleeping pattern is usually pretty messed up because I work nights on the weekend but there isn't really an excuse for it being as out of hand as it is this week. I think loneliness has become a big factor. I've found myself talking to all sorts of new people on various websites. Even here. It's nice to learn about others and even try and help them with their struggles. It's always so much easier to help somebody else than help yourself.

I had a message from somebody which read :- "You really have good writing skill. Your entries are detailed and interesting. There is no unnecessary info or content. And it felt honest while reading. You should think about being an author or some kind of writer." I don't really think I have any real talent when it comes to writing but I really did appreciate his comments. I definitely don't have the imagination to write stories. When I look at stuff like Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones. It blows my mind that somebody has just created all of that. I could never. This is different anyway. For some people, it may look like a story because you're on the outside, looking in. But it's real life. I'm just talking about my experiences, my mood, my feelings, my state of mind.

I feel if I was ever going to write something, it would be about something that occurred in my life. Something I can feel as I'm putting the words and the story together. The truth. I think I'm just too dark and depressing for people to want to read my stuff. I saw earlier that I'm at 18 followers on here and that was really surprising to see. It was nice though. I look at myself and I see a poor man's Hank Moody. If anybody has watched Californication, you'll understand. He's troubled, he makes stupid decisions. He's desolate, he's broken, isolated and see's himself as beyond saving.

Maybe I will eventually embrace the writer in me a bit more. I intend to keep this diary going for as long as I last, so it will be interesting to see how far I go and where I end up in this crazy thing we call Life.

Death Cab for Cutie - A lack of Color :- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jduFDgIr598