Do Not Disturb

2018-07-08 23:26:59 (UTC)

Why didn't you tell me?

Dear journal,

I hate to say this but I'm thinking about him and yes Derrick. . I know that I said I would stop talking and thinking about him but I just can't ever since, he left for the military and without even telling me ( which that I never understood why). Its like he never cared. About me at least. Well, I don't cate about him. Okay, that was a lie. He unblocked me on messenger. I don't know why.

Does that mean he was thinking about me?

I mean their has to be a reason. But when I asked him through text he didn't respond. I was never mean to him. At least I don't think. I know... I know... I have a boyfriend and all and I can't ruin another relationship like I did with my last but him I just can't seem to get him out of my head and he's sort of like family. I think. That's just wrong and disgusting. Right?

Ughhhhh!!!! I hate when this happens. I shouldn't have texted him. I know I shouldn't but I had to.... I wanted to... He doesn't like me. He never did. He just... Used me in a way. All he knows how to do is push people away. Maybe that's all I know how to do. He should've kept me on block.

I tell people how I feel and it ruins everything. Especially when I'm in a committed relationship. It never seems to work...EVER!!! I can't even trust my own boyfriend thinking he might cheat on me. He lets me check his phone. He gave me his password but only because I'm his girlfriend and without hesitation.

I kept texting him when all he does is read my messages and doesn't responds so... Why do I keep trying to text someone that doesn't want anything to do with me??? He unblocked me but doesn't wanna talk to me ( and that's what I don't get about with most guys) but that doesn't matter anymore. Nope. It doesn't because I... I... Have a boyfriend.

I just wish he would understand. I wish he would respond to my messages but I guess not. 😔😔😔. Yes. Yes I do. I go through relationships to quickly. My mom was right. I have a problem. It seems like I can't go without being in a relationship or just being single. Theirs always some new boy on my mind. Anyways, that's all I have for now.

Write more as soon as possible


The Forgotten One

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