Scream Above the Sounds
I feel like I'm falling back into an old pattern and it's alarming. I can't sleep, I've been trying. The past two days have been awful and I feel like it's going to get worse and I wish I knew why. I feel like I deserve to feel this way but I wish I could make it stop all the same.
I just feel seething and angry with myself. That, coupled with seeing things online that I wish I hadn't. It just makes me feel really angry and depressed. I probably shouldn't be feeling happy but I at least think i should be feeling okay. I'm going on holiday at the end of the month. I start studying in September. Things should be looking up but I just feel like shit. I don't really know what to do. I've been looking at other weekend jobs online because I can't keep going in the same place that I'm in now.
I want to write more but I can't find the words. I just wish I could sleep.
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