Do Not Disturb

2018-06-24 19:03:36 (UTC)

I'm Not In The Mood

Dear journal,

Sit back and relax because this will be a long one.

What do I do to deserve to be yelled at like this?

I do everything that I possibly can do and yet I'm the bad guy. Chris says that he just wants to be " friends" when he told me himself that he " likes me" but somehow that always ends up a complete lie. I mean like is their something wrong with me for a guy to be friendzoned with all the time... And constantly. . I'm just... DONE with all the lies and yet I'm the one who's always ending up getting hurt or, maybe I'm just hurting myself. I should've never responded back to him. I should've never asked if, he likes a me when clearly he just wants to be " friends". I get so attached that I've lost sight of who I really am. I'm always barely EVER happy. And he blocked me on Meet me and so, I just deleted my account and deleted the damn app.

I honestly don't know what I want at the moment but what I need to do is focus on myself and that I haven't done. But hey not like I'm use to this shit anyways. And yet its somehow my fault but hey maybe it is. So much has happened to me that I just feel the need to write it down and that which always somehow makes me feel better somehow.

The love I have for writing is just the most wonderful thing ever. Its like a therapy session for me and I've noticed that I've repeated myself to many times in this diary about certain things so sorry for the inconvenience. But I get to write whatever I want whenever I want.

I'm jobless. I'm jobless. I wanna scream. I wanna cry and all at the same to me. The reason that I'm stressed out because I have not yet gotten myself together. And that I've been lacking on recently.

But on the other hand, my Grandparents are FINALLY moving out tomorrow. I mean its not like I didn't enjoy them being here. Their were some days when I did and their were some days when I didn't. And those days its just got to the point where it just drove me insane with all the constant yelling and it was mostly my Grandma arguing with my Grandpa and my Grandpa acting like je doesn't have all the care innthe world. Hell, I don't blame him. I would get tired of it to and I am but its you know their married so it's just whatever.

Okay so maybe this wasn't as long as I thought it was.

Write more as soon as possible


The Forgotten One

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