Do Not Disturb

2018-06-22 16:33:02 (UTC)


Dear journal,

Why is it that my mom is always constantly onto me and not my little brother?

And it gotta be some other reason besides me being " the oldest" because that I've heard before. Too many to count to be honest with you. He's not perfect. My mother just spoils him way to much..... Note to self he's only 12 yrs old. Even when he doesn't act like it at the most. He gets things that he doesn't need like that Xbox one he got for Christmas and yet I want certain things I have to work for it. Like getting a job.

For example, my mom bought him brand new pair of shoes when he already has some but when I ask her could she buy me some shoes she be like," Once you get a job you can buy you some." Like dang, remind me to not ask you to buy me anything but then again she had me since she was 16. But I'm no different. And that I'm getting sick and tired of hearing.

I'm currently jobless at the moment. No calls. No nothing. I guess people need experience for those type of things ( which I already knew about). I've only had one job out of my entire life. ONE and that's just sad for a 19 year old girl.

My brother on the other hand gets a job a lot quicker than, I ever will get. He just got fired from his recent job and now he works at White Waters.... See what I mean... Is their something that I'm doing wrong??? I put in application after application and even online and what do I get...NOTHING!

Today's my cousins birthday. She's 15 years old their going out to eat but we're not because the power just literally went out and... My mom only payed half of the bill and my phone is on 50% ( that is now on 31%) Sooo.... Yay! For that.

You will see me in my room being bored as fuck.well, you can't actually see me but you know what I mean. Wow! I sounded dumb when I said that. I need a job so, I'm able to help my mom around the house because I know she needs it and is very stressed out at the moment... I know right.... Now great of a daughter am I ????

I don't know if, I'm telling to much of my business on here but hey its MY diary. Oh and I almost forgot. I just decide to keep Meetme just in case anything happens between me and Marlin. And that I don't know if, we're dating still or not. He hasn't confirmed. But guess who decides to text me Chris. I mean yea I still have feelings for him and he to still likes me but me and him are friends right now and are getting to know each other like I should with Jimmy but he didn't care for it or have the decency to at least try too.

Rod has another girlfriend now. But technically we weren't dating. He told me he will " always love me" and I admit I liked him a little but I wanted to be friends first. I also told me him how I wasn't ready for another relationship when he specifically told me that he wasn't either and that he just gotten out of a 4 year relationship with his ex wife and he has a baby but doesn't live with him. He's dating some black girl name Kristi. I didn't expect him to move on that fast but then again. I wonder if, he was ever talking to her this whole time while he was talking to me. Oh well. His loss. I also blocked him as well. And along with James. The guy that didn't care about my " feelings" at all and would constantly talk about my weight and that brought me down tremendously. And he to knows of my low self-esteem but he just didn't care and plus we kind of rushed into things. He broke up with me before I even wanted to be friends with him because we rushed I'm to thing.

I just believe that he's talking to other girls. And he says how I'm always accusing him of talking to other girls as well. I mean like its a yes or no question but I'm over it of coarse. I get over guys easier than you think. I mean it will hurt the first time and I'll cry over it but after that of me blocking them. Its over and done with. I'm healed. I was just desperate and maybe still am. But hey like I said before.

Who needs a boy when you have a dog that loves you???

Write more as soon as possible


The Forgotten One

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