✯Sincerely, Me✯
☯LivingWithMyself☯
A Year Ago Today
Dear Reader,
Honestly, I had no idea what today even was.. I didn’t look at the date on my phone, because I’ve been babysitting all week and everything’s a mess and disoriented when I babysit..
And I’ve written a few times about when grandma and I babysat and she pissed me off.
Today wasn’t going good.. I was so tired and emotionally drained from this week already.. and then the baby tripped and started to cry, and grandma came into the living room and took her away yelling at me how I’m a terrible babysitter and she’s going to tell her mom she’s not safe under my care.. etc etc.
I went to the doctor with grandma Monday, and we babysat all week, assembled a swing set with Rhonda in the evenings, tomorrow I go with grandma to the doctor again.. Saturday is a yard sale, may have to spend the night with Rhonda and the baby.. and I might have to babysit more often because they lost their stupid baby sitter.
So I’m stressed as fuck all day, and that happened.. I went to the bathroom.. and I started thinking of J..
And I realized today at dinner what today is..
A year ago today, J passed away unexpectedly.. and... I can’t believe it’s been a year..
He was my first love..
I really don’t know what else to say honestly.. I’ve been meaning to write about it.. I’m just not ready.. it’s too hard to face right now..
I really don’t want to be alone, but no ones around.
Sincerely,
Me
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