Do Not Disturb

2018-06-13 19:12:52 (UTC)

Alll About Jimmy

Dear journal,

Sometimes I regret on dating him. Like yesterday, he said something about my weight and how he didn't want me to have any health problems and how he wants me to be skinny just like him and that really got to me.

To the point where he thought I was pregnant when I wasn't. I mean.... Am I that fat for someone...

Anyone to think that I'm pregnant???

I really llike the guy and all but their are certain things that he said or says just really gets to me. He won't even let me see his phone because of " privacy" and he says his phone is off but I just can't trust him. He asked me out.... I said yes but only because I really like him like A LOT and I really think we could go somewhere in the future is it wrong of me to say how I feel?

I'm just gonna hide my feelings inside like I should've been doing a long time ago. You know. But on the hand I just can't trust him really. I will try but I just can't. Like at all. He says his phone is off but I don't believe him.

How can a phone be off for that long????

Sometimes I wonder if, I made a mistake of getting back in a relationship so quickly. Its been what... TWO MONTHS since my ex broke up with me.

I'm trying to tell Marlin that I just want to be friend but it seems as if, he's not taking it very well. I don't do very well in relationships. I'm always feeling like I rush into them. Only after that one break up with me and it's usually the guys. Hell... I don't blame them.

People always assume that I'm depressed even he said so and that when I'm around him I'm happy all once again. That's not true. Well, for the most part. I need to understand that I don't need a guy to make me feel all wholesome inside. As long as I have God that's all that matters. Even my mom to says the ssme thing about how I use to be happy.
But okay I will fake being happy even if, it kills me inside.

The dogs are back on the chain ( well Apollo broke his chain so he's loose but in the backyard) once again... Just hope they don't try and escape...ONCE AGAIN!!!!

Writing everything down is my therapy session. I always feel better when I do

Write more as soon as possible


The Forgotten One

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