Truer than True

Through My Eyes
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2018-06-13 06:59:21 (UTC)

Nothing’s Change

It’s been since 2016 I’ve written in My Diary, looking at my old post I still feel the same. Hopeless, faithless and no beliefs that my life will ever turn around. I’m 49 and still alone, still working for the same company and still in debt even though I’ve tried to make some changes, it just never works in my favor. I’ve always felt like one day I’m going to end it all. I keep a bottle of sleeping pills on standby. But then I think of my 26 year son who I know still needs me. Funny(probably not) how my son one day seen the pills in my dresser drawer and told me to get rid of them because he didn’t like them around. I almost wonder was he reading my mind. I’ve been having these thoughts for many years. I just haven’t acted on it. I suppose I should be grateful I’m employed (unsure how long that’s going to be) , a roof over my head (rental) and no worries about food.


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