Do Not Disturb

2018-06-09 22:01:24 (UTC)

Up And Early

Dear journal,

Its like my family can't trust ANYONE I go out with or even like. I know that their very protective of me and all.

But I'm still sick and tired of being compared of by what happened of what my mom did in the past at such a young age and that she had me. But I'm not like her and I wish everyone would stop comparing that I do the same things that she would do... Like getting pregnant.

Because that will not be happening. And I would never do those things that she me around my age because that's when she had me... Around my age. I know they want me to be careful and I am. But its just frustrating sometimes... Nope... ALL THE TIME you know and their are sometimes where I wish I wasn't here anymore. I mean their are times that I thought about cutting myself again but I chose not too. So, many mistakes that I have made. I constantly hurt people and even the one's that I love the most but I don't even try to like.... AT ALL.

I'm the most confusing person you'll ever meet and out of how many times I've done said this in these past entries knowing that their 100% true. This is also the exact reason that I will also always remain SINGLE. Or at least I think. I just can't take it anymore. Might as well stay single for the rest of my life. They can never trust me with anything. I'm always lazy. I don't have a job.

Marlin claims me to be his girlfriend but I never suggest it and then theirs James really cute eyes but do I trust him enough for him to be my boyfriend. Maybe.... Maybe not. Maybe its a no... Maybe its both. I just really like the guy. And Marlin been their for me through thick and thin. We also meet through MeetMe.

Then, my Grandma complains about me wanting to see him today and saying that I can't see him tomorrow or whatever because it threw her off or whatever. And I hate when people talk about you when their right in front of you. I don't know why but shit like that just makes me mad. And that's exactly what my Grandma did. She was like," Excuse me but I'm talking to Grandpa." Like okay damn. I just let that go though. My mom does that exact same thing with me. From being lazy to acting dumb.

The reason why I don't wanna cutt because she will try and put me in some type of mental hospital or whatever because I done it before when I was getting constantly picked on in high school. But its whatever.

Write more as soon as possible


The Forgotten One

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