Scream Above the Sounds
This entry is named after a Bloc Party song. They were a great band back in the day. I need to start listening to them again. I suppose I just feel the need to talk about something before I go to bed. So lets see where this goes.
We'll start with work. Work was okay. Felt like I got worked like a fucking dog tonight though. I was on my department on my own and it's pretty demanding/time consuming so that was pretty grim having to face that alone. It was nice not to have anybody in my face though and I could just get on with it. I don't really have any friends on the weekends anymore anyway. One of the girls who works on the same department with me is cool. I get on with her quite well. She was in a car accident a while ago and I think she's currently off work because she's having surgery. Things will be a bit better when she comes back I guess. At least I'll have somebody to talk to on Saturday nights then. I mean, I'm more than capable of working a shift on my own if that's what's asked of me but it's nice to have the option for a conversation.
I missed the Champions League Final tonight but my friend kept me up to date on it. I had about 6 messages from her by the time I was on break. She told me that Liverpool's goalkeeper had made two ridiculous error's but didn't say what happened. She didn't want to spoil it for me because they were THAT bad. They really were. They were fucking abysmal. I've never seen a goalkeeper have such a nightmare. Especially in a final. Woeful stuff. I feel so sorry for him and Liverpool fans in general.
I want to talk about more stuff but I don't really think I have the motivation for it at the minute. I'm pretty tired. The long and short of it is, I'm pretty sick of how 2 or 3 people are trying to make me feel. It's frustrating to try and find some happiness, positivity or at least a bit more stability and then have people try and tear it down and make you feel like shit. I think the best part of it all is, they supposedly wish for your happiness and well-being. They want good things for you, at least so they say. God knows what they say behind your back, or to who. At this point, I don't really feel like I have to justify my actions to anybody or even discuss what I'm doing or who it's with. Nobody knew that I went out on a date because I didn't want to talk about it. It was just something I wanted to try. I didn't tell people because I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. I wasn't "trying to move on" or force something. It was just an experiment I suppose. See how I coped with it all. Obviously everybody is entitled to their opinion and if you have a negative opinion of me, do yourself a favour and stop talking to me. Stop looking at my social media or whatever it is people do these days and just fuck off.
Haven't really got any plans today. Today will more or less just be a dead day. I have to work Monday night sadly. I'm probably going to crack on and watch some more Breaking Bad. I've been flying through it. I'm just making my way through Season 3 now. I'll give Better Call Saul another try then. I'm definitely talking to my friends today about Sweden. So hopefully my next entry will have more information on that.
Little thoughts are becoming big thoughts, it's time to call it a night, or morning.