Vanilla

what I'm made of.

I hate them all. They never fucking understand. They get to know you and all your flaws and suddenly it's not enough. suddenly your disappointing. I get tired of it. the constant labels. like just fuck off. I've had it rough , it's been shit, nothing's ever been good and then I'm a bit if a screw up and apparently you can't handle that about me. maybe I don't want this basic life. maybe j thought support and being a wife was enough but maybe it's just not. maybe I'm not made like that. I just get tired of it. I didn't ask for this. Either fucking get me or dont. But it you don't then I'm not afraid to do this on my own. I'm not afraid to give this up. So don't push me there.

I hear the fucking voices as if i can handle it. I fuckng can't. That's why I stuck to being alone. I don't want this. I don't want you to tell me this shit. that I'm an alcoholic, drug addict, victim been through horrendous abuse...if you've know I've been through horrendous abuse then why do you expect better from me. what is this fucking expectation ? either stick by me or don't be with me if it's too much for you and your kids.

but don't do that, don't judge me and expect things from me. it isn't fair.