Scream Above the Sounds
Hangovers & Headaches
I woke up so many times throughout the day today. I feel awful. Surprisingly got out of bed at 1pm which must be a record lately for me. I usually don't surface until after 4pm these days. Hangover and a headache, the usual.
Last night was good, much better than I expected. I drank a lot more than I probably should have done. Not very surprising at this point. It used to be the complete opposite. Drinking used to make me sad and made me think about bad things and scenarios but its reversed now, it's my escape at this point. It makes me feel alive, happy, sane. Even if its just for a couple of hours. I started drinking at about 6pm, I don't remember what time I got home. I don't think it was very late. Maybe about midnight. My mate gave me a lift home. We just drank and talked about pretty much everything last night. Set up the Playstation 4, played some Rock band and some other games. Like Jackbox Party Pack or some shit. Quiz games and things like that. It was a good laugh.
One of the girls asked me about the date I went on last week, I kinda expected her to. I did speak to her about it briefly before but figured she'd want to go more in-depth, in person. There wasn't really much to tell to be fair, we just went for a walk and we talked for about three hours or so. I mean we've been talking on and off since but I don't really think there is anything there. She asked about seeing me again but I figured that's just something everybody tells everyone. She was a nice girl, really pretty and funny. Easy to talk to, I felt like I'd known her for years. I'm not really a "dater" so it's pretty new to me. It was fun but yeah, I don't think I'm ready for anything like that. it was difficult enough to commit to the first one, let alone more with different people. It's just not me. I'm probably too embarrassed to put myself out there too. "Hi, I'm 27, I live with my parents and I'm going back to study soon". It's just not a great look. The main focus right now should be to work on myself, improve myself and figure out where I'm going.
I was actually talking to one of my best friends as he dropped me home last night and he said that he hadn't had a lot of luck with women in a long time and he wasn't sure what to do because most people our age are getting married or having children at this point. I mean, I didn't really know what to suggest to him. He has had about 3 or 4 serious relationships whereas I've only ever had the 1. He's a bright, good looking guy so I'm not worried for him. It's just not the right time I guess, or some other cliché bullshit line. He'll find somebody eventually.