Scream Above the Sounds
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2018-05-23 13:56:04 (UTC)

New Beginnings

This entry isn't going to be deep, don't be fooled by the name. Arsenal have finally got a new manager after 22 years of Arsene Wenger. I'm still really sad that he's gone but I can't wait for the new season with our new manager, Unai Emery.

I don't know a great deal about him. I've watched him briefly with Sevilla and PSG. I don't know his philosophy or his style of play but I just can't wait for something different and new you know? I'm glad we've appointed somebody who is ambitious and has previously won things. I was really scared that we would hire some glad handing yes-man who is just happy to be the bitch that the board and owners want him to be. Wenger eventually became that and it was heartbreaking to watch. Emery has passion and desire. He's a winner. He has a very good CV and his Achilles heel only appears to be the Champions League, which we aren't even in anyway. So that doesn't apply. I hope he doesn't get too disheartened when fickle fans turn on him and demand him out, just like they did with Arsene. We need to rally, unite and stand by him. It's an exciting time for Arsenal and I can't wait to see how next season goes.

Asides from football, I'm "socialising" tonight. And by that I obviously mean drinking. One of my best friends girlfriends has suggested that me and two of my best friends (who are married) have some sort of movie/games night. It's strange because we aren't that close. I mean I only get on with her purely because she is my best friends girlfriend. She's been incredibly nice to me since my break up. She has been messaging me on social media asking if I'm okay, how I'm doing. She wished that work went well for me when she knew I was going back. She even gave me a hug. It's really refreshing to see. She's usually so cold and hostile towards people, especially me. She actually admitted to me that she was scared to get on with me because my sister and her boyfriend had history. I think it's shitty that she somehow judges or thinks less of me because of that but I just tried to explain to her that it was years ago, nobody feels that way anymore, I don't even think they are in contact, and I'm not even that close with my sister anyway. I told her that if she told me or mentioned anything like that sooner, I could have probably put her mind at ease a little. It doesn't matter now anyway.

I think my main problem with her was she was quite intrusive or maybe sometimes asked questions that she already knew the answers to. Probably just to see if I'd let her in and talk about it. When me and my ex first broke up, she asked me "Whats new?" when she full-on knew that I had broken up with her and moved back home. It's weird. I just didn't mention it. The next time I went around there she asked how it was for me living home again so she obviously knew. I don't know why she did that. It doesn't matter now i guess. I expect she will probably ask me similar stuff tonight. She knows that I went on a date with some girl so she will likely ask how that went and I'll be honest and say it was fun but I'm probably not ever going to do it again. It was a good, fun experience but I guess I'm just not ready.

I want to try and make an effort with my friends girlfriend because things would be so much easier if we did get on, rather than being nice to each others face for the sake of it. I hate small talk and I don't really like going out of my way or having conversations just for the sake of it. It's just pointless and fake. I'm quite reserved unless I'm around people I genuinely like. If people talk though, I'll talk back. That's how it's always been. I don't really know what to expect tonight. Hopefully a lot of fun, laughs and good times.

I'm really looking forward to seeing my two best friends. My love for those guys is unmatched. It sucks that they live so far away. They are moving back here soon but even when they do, I don't feel like my best friend will bother with me all that much. I think we've grown apart too much over the last year or two. I imagine marriage plays in to that quite a bit. He has to do a lot of stuff that he doesn't really want to. That's marriage for you I guess. The same with friendship. Doing things you hate is the price you pay to avoid loneliness. (That's a Peep Show quote) I guess maybe I just miss the old days of us sitting around doing nothing but listening to rock music and playing video games together. Only getting up to either go to the toilet, get an ice cold drink from the fridge or going to bed. Those were the days. Before responsibilities, before women, before feelings.

I still forget that he's married sometimes. I never thought he'd do it. I didn't even think he thought about it really. He didn't tell me he was planning to propose, he just did it. I found out through Facebook haha. I was incredibly proud of him. It was probably one of the best days of my life. I hope I do get to see them more often when they come back. It's a blessing to spend time with one of the most devoted and beautiful couples that I've ever seen. I hope I can find someone who fulfils me in my life the way I see the two of them fulfil each other.

I know I said this entry wouldn't be deep but shit. How did I go from talking about Unai Emery and Arsenal to this? Whoops.

Anyway, I'm gonna get something to eat. Sing a few songs on Rock Band on my PS4 and get ready for tonight. No Disaronno tonight, that's a promise.