Do Not Disturb

2018-05-20 20:45:00 (UTC)

I Need To

Wel, Jairrius has stopped talking to me... Well... Kinda... He said that I was becoming annoying. Whatever. All I wanted to do was to talk to him but ever since after his graduation he has been distance from me. But it doesn't matter anymore. At least to him. He's to busy. I don't known what I'm gonna do with my life. I still wanna go to college. Still need a job. Maybe I need to go to a community college first then an actual college. I haven't even retaken my ACT yet. I was suppose to sign up and I've reminded my mom constantly but never had the money. So at the moment maybe a community college is where its at then maybe I could switch over to an actual college. I don't wanna stay home all day doing nothing. I wanna actually do something with my life. You know. So, yea I guess he stopped talking to me. I had asked him can we hang out today he said no because I was becoming annoying. I just told him I don't wanna be bothered right now. This is the main reason why I don't talk to anyone. Because of that reasons and other reason as well. No one texts me. Except for the other guy. No one calls me. I don't have any friends ( which is sad isn't it). Maybe I'll have some when I get in college. Who knows??? I've been asleep all day because Grams woke me up just to eat breakfast but it's Grandma's orders. I think I will start a YouTube channel with covers and me writing my own songs even though I've been lacking on them recently because I've lost inspiration. I would always let my brother borrow my TV from my room no matter how mean he gets to me I'm always gonna be nice to him and well maybe that needs to change. I'm tired of guys saying that I'm clingy and annoying and just all of the above. All they know how to do is read my messages. I guess I'm just no good for any of them. But its their loss not mine. I know God will find the right one for me. He also told me that he will be moving into his dorm in July. And that I admit hurt but its nothing I can do about it and when he told me that he just responded with okay but its only because he was driving. Its just I feel like he doesn't care. I'm just gonna stop texting him in all. Its not like he responds or answer my calls anyways. All guys just do is read my damn messages. I don't care about that shit anymore. Guys are assholes. My ex is an asshole. All my ex's are. I downloaded Meet Me but then deleted it when I saw my "ex" Anthony who texted me with a straight face but I didn't respond just read it. And then I deleted the app. Marquis thinks we're together. I don't know I like him and he been their for me since day one even when I was in bad relationships. And I believe the only reason that my ex wanted to get back with me was because he wanted sex. I mean he also told me that he still didn't " trust me" when he literally told me he did. So, he lied about that and I also think he's lying and seeing and/or texting someone else. But I don't give a fuck abiut him anymore. He's single. At lesst I think. And I'm single. The only person I talk to is Marquis and at least he has time for me. We've become really close. Best friends kind of close. But never have we ever seen each other in person. He only lives an hour away in the state I'm living in. He's 4 years older than me ( which isn't to bad). He looks younger. Most people mistaken him for an 18 year old. We've been otp. We text after hours. He ask if I'm okay ect.... He's told me he likes me likes me. And yea maybe I do the same with him but I just need do see how it is in person when I meet him in person. Going to David Buster in Atlanta next Saturday. I kinda feel better now. Got some cute new shoes that neeeds a bit of a fix up but its toast adorable. Okay never saying that again. Everyone is always on my butt about getting a damn job. Don't they think I'm trying. I've applied for jobs online. I need to call some of them. Grams send my application for Goodwill. Handwritten. So, hopefully... I pray I get the job. My brother is still annoying. Still loud. Still obnoxious. Mean. Did I mention that he's still annoying???

Write more as soon as possible


The Forgotten One

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