Do Not Disturb

2018-05-15 20:21:57 (UTC)

I don't know

I'm over here writing when I should be studying for my ACT that I'm supposedly taking next month. I've been on my phone 24/7 and its not entirely healthy. I haven't even gotten a job yet. I've been applying for them as they been coming through my g-mail. But never have I ever finished most of them. I will be applying for chick-fil-a, sonic, dollar general ect.... I did an application for Goodwill but I have to turn the application in. I'm ready to work instead of being home all day and doing nothing but being lazy watching tv and being on my phone. I wanna make some money. I wanna go to college. I'm wasting my life on doing nothing and that's not like me. I want to do something with my life and that I will not do just by sitting around and doing nothing. Jairrius video chatted me through messege and old friend of mine he was just showing me Gerard my ex. So, I just hung up thinking that he would actually wanna talk to me but it was to much noises in the background he didn't wanna talk to me anyways so fuck him. I didn't know he smoke. He was around Gerard and his other two friends. He is also my ex but we only went out for a week. He told me how he still had little feelings for me but I told him no because we are just friends and I have a boyfriend that I love very much. We've been together for 7 months now and I couldn't have been happier. I missed him while we was on break but we're back together. I just wanna go to college. Get a job. Get a car. My license. I know I haven't gotten my drivers license yet and that I'm 19 and its just sad. I've only been learning how to drive and that's about it. I need to Stop being so attached to my phone because that's how I've been lately. Always constantly on my phone and my mom always have a problem with me and my phone saying that she wished wished that I never had a phone that day when we headed towards wal mart for my brother band concert. And that I admit pissed me off. So I just got off of it. Before it even made me even madder than, before. Right now I'm looking for a job so I won't have to constantly here my mom's mouth telling me that I'm lazy and that I'm on my phone to much or to even get one. Even the smallest things stress me out. I can be happy but their are days when my mood changes from left to right. Their are days when I'm depressed and sad. But I try and be happy. All the time. My boyfriend birthday is this month. In like two weeks or so he will be turning 21. Yes he is older than me but age doesn't matter. Unless its a guy in their 30s who's dating a teenager or is a pedophile then theirs something Definently wrong their. But hey its their life. But I'm happy with him ans that's all that matters and I love him and I will not mess anything up with him. Not after all that happened when I broke his heart the first time. I don't want to be an on and off relationship ( which may seem like it). But I really love him I really do. I know I have trust issues and in trying to trust him. I just don't like the idea of girls texting him and hes in a relationship with me. As long as he's not cheating on me. Yes I get jealous. I don't want to lose him. Not again. He's my heart. My whole world.

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The Forgotten One

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