Do Not Disturb

2018-05-05 02:34:41 (UTC)


Yesterday at 7:41 PM: I really messed things up with him with the constantly calling and texting him. He says that he wish he never had sex with me because it would complicate things. To be honest I wish I didn't either so how about that but it did happen and it was great but it won't happen anymore. I agreed with him. What has become of me? I'm to clingy to begin with. How do I not be so clingy? Especially around a guy. It feels as if I need a guy to make me happy and I really don't. And here I am crying over something that I have done and trying to fix. Now all of a sudden he doesn't "trust me" because of what I did. But anyways maybe going with my dad tomorrow is a good thing to just get my mind off of everything. I need it. I've become obsessed and it needs to stop. So, from now on I will focus ONLY and ONLY on me. NO BOYS no matter how many times I have said this it continues to happen. Maybe He's right maybe I do have a problem. 9:41 PM: I decided to download Meet me again. I was bored and just needed someone to talk to. Came across a guy who can sing his ads off. Zach texted me again saying that he lost conract of me. I believed him. Somewhat. Maybe that's my problem. Trust issues. Constantly texting and calling a guy when he doesn't answer. But anyways I'm happy for tomorrow. Even when my ex lives in Mississippi. But family will be family and that is the only reason I'm going anyways. I was gonna stay because I thought me and D were gonna go to the movies but he declined because of the way that I have been "acting". He sounded mad. Because he was. He told me. He was about to block me that's how serious it got. I'm trying to make things right with him. I honestly wish we didn't have sex either. He was drunk. We had a moment or at least I think we did and now that moment is over. We will still remain friends but that is it. M still says he loves me and still calls me baby. He showed me his dick once it was a nice. A medium sized dick. Lol! I don't know why I thought what I said was funny. But this happened months ago over chat messenger but never did I ever showed him my stuff because as I mention before I have serious trust issues. I talk to much. In my head at least.

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The Forgotten One

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